Investing in your spouse

I was at Starbucks this morning trying to get some work done but instead found myself indulged in my favorite hobby - People watching.   I just love watching people and wondering what they are about- imagining their lives and their stories. There was a table where a few men in suits, spoke in deep voices and used big words as they sealed business deals. There were a few buddies at another table, huddled around their computer discussing hush-hush things. There were a few women cozied (is that a word?) up on the couches, looking into each other’s eyes and sharing their hearts. There were a few people sitting alone getting work done. There was a mom, with her two kiddos, grabbing a quick breakfast before what seemed was going to be day full of errands for her. And then I saw something that was too cute to not share. An older couple walked in. The lady, wearing a long frilly flower printed skirt, a shiny polyester blouse and the cute blush of a new bride. The gentleman in a plaid vest and a newsboy cap carried her bag in one hand, and the hand of his love in the other. Aww…I loved it.

 I want that when I am older. I want to still be crazy in love, hand in hand and close by the side of the man I love.

When you have been married for a while, things can easily become far from special. You wake up every morning to the same story – hurrying through breakfast, readying the kids for school, dressing for work, a kiss on the cheek good bye. After a day of work, you come back home, swallow an Advil to kill the pounding in your head, exchange a few niceties on how the day went, quietly get through dinner, do the dishes, catch a TV show and for the most part don’t say much that matters before you hit the pillow. When life is on auto-drive, you don’t have much hope for an out of the ordinary future do you?

The truth is that a lot of what we experience is of our own making. We need to take the reins back from Mr. Mundane, get off of auto-drive and spice things up. We need to go on dates again, make-out in the car (sorry for being too explicit), go for walks, go shopping together and whatever else you really enjoyed doing when you first met.

 To start somewhere let’s take a quick tip from the older couple I saw today. Call your love and make a date.  Ask her/him out for coffee after work today. Don’t worry about making dinner, ask the neighbor to watch the kids for a bit or take them along if you have to – make it a family date. But just change things up. Take the time to hold each other’s hand and forgo the cheek and kiss on the lips.

Take the time to invest in the one who is going to hold your hand in love.