I am Loved

The blog below is something I wrote about 8 months ago in my personal journal. I thought I would post it today because it is always great to be reminded of how much each one of us is loved.

Enjoy!

The minute she was born I felt it….a pure, warm feeling in 
m

e. Like nothing I have ever felt before. The word

‘Indescribable' describes it best

Izzy was born a little after midnight following 27 hours of 
intense (for lack of a more intense word) labor. For the 
next 6 weeks she struggled to latch on to nurse and oh 
if only there were words to describe the pain associated 
with that. She is yet to sleep through the night and feels 
like the lights being off means someone needs to be 
singing to her for as long as it is dark…and no, it cannot 
be any kind of recording. She is 9 months old now and to 
date has never gone to sleep without putting on a fight. 
She already has an idea of how things should go in her 
life and will fight you tooth and nail to keep it that way. 
At this very moment she lies next to me, sleeping like an 
angel. Unbeknownst to a stranger is the 30 minute high 
pitch screaming, vicious wriggling and hair pulling that 
preceded this peaceful slumber. Yet as I look at her that, 
now all too familiar, feeling returns. The pure, warm, 
indescribable feeling of love. Not because she is perfect 
but because she is mine.

I close my eyes and think of how God feels the same 
way about me. Izzy’s strong gene of stubbornness is from 
no stranger.  I have failed Him many a times. I have 
refused to rest in His peace insisting on controlling 
everything on my life. I have been unkind, unloving and 
unwise. The grown up version of my 9 month old. 
Yet, the bible says He loves me so. Not because I am the 
perfect child but because I am His.

My eyes still closed, I rest like a child. I am His. I am loved.

Love Challenge #4

1 Corinthians 13 v 4 - 7. It reads:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."


The challenge this week is a little different. It is based on the verse that reads "[Love] does not envy". 
When I was first thinking of this challenge I almost dismissed it because I felt like envy was not something I really struggled with.  Giving it a little more thought changed my perspective a little.


It is true that I do not really experience envy for others' material possessions. However, in all honesty there are times when I am envious of other's state of being. If it is a time that I am going through a particular period of physical pain or hurt in my life, I find myself envious of other's physical wellbeing. Not that I wish for them to experience my pain but I long for the freedom from pain that they are experiencing.  Some days when my dear hubby Godwin and I are in "serious discussions", okay I'll admit it, crazy fights, I long for the peace and content I see in a couple taking a walk hand in hand. Again, I do not wish for their lack of happiness, it is just a longing for betterment in my situation. 


And some may argue that there is nothing wrong with that. Anyone who is sick wishes for health, anyone who is unhappy wishes for true joy etc. And to an extent I agree; but where I see the challenge I seek is in the focus of the moment.


What if when Gody and I are experiencing marital challenges, in stead of looking at someone else's happy relationship and wishing the same for me I focused on them in that moment and celebrated the love and peace they have regardless of where I am at. It may take a little training and disciplining of the mind but it is a true expression of love for someone. It might even benefit me to be in their presence to see how it is that they deal with their differences and issues.


What if when I am not at my physical best, in stead of being envious of my friend who is training for a marathon, I actually call her and encourage her. I am not only loving on her but I might be able to clear my mind of envy for the moment to actually be inspired by her motivation and hard work.


It really does take love to be truly happy for another regardless of the situation one is in. However, as has become our motto, love is a choice. You can choose to love in spite of the feeling. 
So, a challenge it is - love does not envy. 

Free to Love

Love is risky business. I have said it before, I will say it again, love is not a feeling, it is a choice. And when you choose to love you choose to take a risk. When you open your heart to love someone, you open your heart to hurt, humiliation, sorrow, disappointment and worst of all rejection. This causes people to guard their love, give only part of their heart away, forgetting that loving in part is no better than not having loved at all.

It can be scary. However, this fear should not paralyze us in our capacity to love. It may take a conscious effort to live free of these fears but it is possible. It is possible to love with all your heart. 

Are you free to love?

 

Love Challenge #3

1Corinthians 13 v 4 - 7. It reads:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."


This week's challenge - kindness
I have never been a great fan of American Idol (please don't hate me) especially of the audition shows. However, for lack of anything else that caught my interest, I decided to tune in this evening and once again hated it. As good as it is to see people sing well and get their "golden ticket" to Hollywood, I really hate it when crude, sarcastic and unkind words are spoken to people who don't quite make the mark. 
We make movies trying to teach our kids that bullying is bad or making fun of someone is wrong, yet somehow on one of America's number one shows, that is what is done. 
I realize that they are looking for talent and that if you go up there with none whatsoever, you are bound to some kind of humiliation. Especially on national TV. 
All this to say, we have plenty of role models showing us and our children that unkindness is accepted and might even be cool. We need to stand up and be different and be better.
As Mother Tresa says, "If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway."

Love Month

So its February...love month. A month to focus on the wonderful, lovely relationships you have in your life.
They may already know it but remind someone of how much you love them today.

action item: Leave a love note on the bathroom mirror for your spouse to find in the morning.