What if???

I have been praying for and focusing on a mercy filled heart. I have been asking God to break my heart for what breaks His and to love unconventionally." I like to believe that what I am about to share with you was an answer from God to this extent; An opportunity to exercise such an attitude.
Last night I was out with a girlfriend for a really late dinner. We went to a restaurant only to find that they had already closed down for the night. It was really dark and cold outside and we were both fumbling with our phones trying to find another place that would be open this late???
In the dark, a small man, wearing a really light pullover, walked up to us. "Can I ask you something?" he asked through chattering teeth. I could tell that his pullover was doing nothing for him and that he was really cold. I already had an idea of where this conversation was going. "Sure. What's up???" I replied. "I am going through a real tough divorce. I lost my home and I am tight with money.  I am $8.00 short for a hotel room up the street. Would you spare some money?"
Many thoughts went through my head in a split second. "Is he speaking the truth? How come none of his family or none of his friends are helping him out? Is he totally playing me? Is he going to go buy drugs or alcohol?"
"Sure" I replied. I stepped a little closer to the light of the restaurant, pulled out a $10.00 from my wallet and handed it to him. "Take care and be safe" I said. He thanked me and walked away.
"Do you really think he is going to get a room?" my friend asked me. "It doesn't matter" I replied.

You see, I am not responsible for his actions. I am only accountable for mine.
The way I see it, one of two things happened in that interaction. Either he was scamming me and just cut me short ten bucks. Honestly, that only hurts me so much (more my ego than my finances). Or he was truly in need of some money to get a room for the night and God needed to use me in that moment.
The truth is that even while all those doubts of his honesty were running through my mind, my heart whispered, WHAT IF he is speaking the truth? I had to make a choice. I decided that  "What if he is lying?" was something I could live with but "What if he really needed it?" was a question that would weigh heavy on my heart.

Maybe you are surrounded with a 'what if' situation in you life. Maybe you are scared that your response to a situation would not produce the result you expected. Well let me tell you, of this I am sure - LOVE is never the wrong choice, regardless of the result. No matter what the other person chooses to make of your response, YOU had a "God- moment". Just what if God was in action through you in that moment.
WHAT IF???

Love -a choice or commandment?

Isn't it ironic that the more I mature in my faith, the more questions I have. To add to the irony, even with all these questions I am very much at peace with the answer "I don't know" and the truth that I will probably never know, this side of eternity.
I used to be concerned that having questions meant I was questioning my faith and in turn questioning God. I now realize, there is nothing further from the truth. The more I reckon I do not know, the more I realize how big, how sovereign, how beyond my comprehension the God of this Universe is. And it gives me great relief. It is good to know that the "Guy-in-charge" is all that and more :)
The reason I share this is because when this "beyond my comprehension" God asks me to love someone I really don't want to love, it is no longer a matter of choice, it is a matter of obedience.
We may like to believe that we get to choose how God should be, but the truth is, the only choice we really have  is to believe in Him or not. Once we have made that choice, we do not get to choose which of His commandments we follow or what about His character we agree with.
 Once you have made the choice to follow Him, the rest is a walk in obedience to Him.
In all honesty, is it really hard to love a just and true God? Is it hard to follow his commandments? In my opinion, it may take a little swallowing of the ego, but His commandments to "Love God with all your heart, mind and soul and love your neighbor like yourself" is as easy as it gets. It doesn't mean that we easily get it right, but at the end of the day, we will always know of the right choice, the right thing to do - LOVE.

Love Challenge #5

1 Corinthians 13 v 4 - 7. It reads:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."


"It (love) does not boast"


I have been writing about love and the need for love in this world. I have been encouraging you (or at least I hope I am) to do random acts of kindness, be more expressive about your love and step out of your comfort zone to bring love into this world. If you have been trying some of these things you might be a little giddy about the reactions and results from your actions. People appreciate feeling loved. And this may result in us getting a little haughty, prideful or even boastful. It is interesting that this verse reads ..."love does not boast.."
 A lot of times we are easily sucked into the world of recognition. We tend to thrive on it. We do a few good things, charitable acts, kind deeds and then we can't stop talking about it.  I get it. I really do. I enjoy a pat on the back as much as the next guy. I know it feels good to be recognized for the things that we do. However, the need for recognition can easily become the purpose of the very act itself and that is where we fail. Our actions are no longer selfless, God-driven and edifying. Our acts might still produce result, someone or many may still benefit from it and it can still produce change around us. However, in God's eyes there is much more to our love than meets the eye. The purpose of our hearts, the intent behind the action matters to God. Why? Because he is doing a work in us through it. He is working on our hearts, changing us into who we need to be to fulfill our purpose.
The truth is that most of the time it is not our intention to be boastful or be recognized for what we do. We just get sucked  into that world. 
So, here is my challenge for you (and me):
A good litmus test is to do a sacrificial act of love and never EVER tell anyone (not even your spouse). By sacrificial I mean something that costs you dearly...not necessarily money...it could be time, talent, ego..but go outside your comfort zone...something you won't usually do.  Something that affects you.
It is hard but not impossible.  As we curb the urge to tell, we  are instilling God like character within ourselves. 

Love Challenge #4

1 Corinthians 13 v 4 - 7. It reads:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."


The challenge this week is a little different. It is based on the verse that reads "[Love] does not envy". 
When I was first thinking of this challenge I almost dismissed it because I felt like envy was not something I really struggled with.  Giving it a little more thought changed my perspective a little.


It is true that I do not really experience envy for others' material possessions. However, in all honesty there are times when I am envious of other's state of being. If it is a time that I am going through a particular period of physical pain or hurt in my life, I find myself envious of other's physical wellbeing. Not that I wish for them to experience my pain but I long for the freedom from pain that they are experiencing.  Some days when my dear hubby Godwin and I are in "serious discussions", okay I'll admit it, crazy fights, I long for the peace and content I see in a couple taking a walk hand in hand. Again, I do not wish for their lack of happiness, it is just a longing for betterment in my situation. 


And some may argue that there is nothing wrong with that. Anyone who is sick wishes for health, anyone who is unhappy wishes for true joy etc. And to an extent I agree; but where I see the challenge I seek is in the focus of the moment.


What if when Gody and I are experiencing marital challenges, in stead of looking at someone else's happy relationship and wishing the same for me I focused on them in that moment and celebrated the love and peace they have regardless of where I am at. It may take a little training and disciplining of the mind but it is a true expression of love for someone. It might even benefit me to be in their presence to see how it is that they deal with their differences and issues.


What if when I am not at my physical best, in stead of being envious of my friend who is training for a marathon, I actually call her and encourage her. I am not only loving on her but I might be able to clear my mind of envy for the moment to actually be inspired by her motivation and hard work.


It really does take love to be truly happy for another regardless of the situation one is in. However, as has become our motto, love is a choice. You can choose to love in spite of the feeling. 
So, a challenge it is - love does not envy. 

Commit to Love

I was at my best friend's wedding over the weekend. It was a beautiful wedding. A perfect wedding. As all weddings usually are. Well, except for those weddings you see on AFV where the bride falls face down in the cake or the groom forgets to zip his pants. Sad but kind of funny.
Anyway, needless to say, it took me back to my wedding day. 8 years ago, my love and I sealed our love for each other before God and family and friends. Weddings are beautiful things. It is the point in that special relationship when you realize that love is beyond a feeling, it is a choice. A choice in spite what you feel and so you decide to commit to love till death do you part.
I feel that we can really use this kind of commitment in all our relationships - sibling relationships, friendships, relationships with our parents, co-workers and almost any other relationship we have. Feelings are not reliable indicators of what a relationship's value is. A lot of things can affect the way you feel at any point of time. So, we shouldn't let valuable relationships ride on feelings. Love is a choice; not a feeling. And even though we don't take vows in all of our relationships, they are still valuable and should be treated with the same commitment.
Imagine what this kind of commitment can do to the relationships in your life. Life long friends, precious memories, forgiveness, deeper connections and of course more love.

The Box for Haiti

This week's love challenge is to give. And as I said I would, I dropped of a box for Haiti at a local church that is shipping a container this weekend.

I dressed Izzy up right after her breakfast and we spent the whole morning and quite a bit of the afternoon shopping to fill our box. She was such a sport. Didn't fuss once. We filled it with cotton clothes for kids of all ages, bottles, diapers, formula, but most of all medical supplies.

I had a list and was making my way through it hoping to get done before Izzy's nap time. As I was standing in the medical supplies aisle at the grocers, filling my cart with band aids, antiseptic cream, Motrin, Advil, gauze and so on, I felt a sudden heaviness in my heart. It was as if being forced to slow down and take in the moment. Not really in control of it, tears started pouring down my cheeks and I prayed earnestly for fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, daughters and sons, friends and loved ones who were in pain.

When that box gets to Haiti and the relief workers there open it, they will see a few things they can use that could hardly cover the need around them. However, there is something in that box that the eye does not see but is all powerful. Love.

To you dear loved one, far in distance but near in heart. We have never met but we love you.

"Do It Anyway"

This is one of my favorite quotes, if you may call it a quote. This is Mother Teresa's version of the "The Paradoxical Commandments" originally written by Dr. Kent M. Keith. This version is said to have been found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta (and personally I like it a little better :)

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

So true. I try to remind myself of these words often. I would hate to get to the end of my life and look back to see that I lived it based on other's lives. I want to be me anyway, in spite of anyone. I want to love anyway.

Love Challenge #1

HAITI!

So, here is my first weekly love challenge

Give.

My pastor often says: "You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving."

So true. Love is more than a warm fuzzy feeling. Love beckons action. So I am stepping outside the "oh thats so sad" box and into the "What can I do to help?" box.

There are many disaster relief agencies that are raising resources for Haiti. I visited the site of a local church that is collecting items that they need the most in Haiti to send over to at the soonest. The deadline for collection is Wednesday. So over the next few days I will fill a box and drop it off on Tuesday evening. I will update you on my progress:)

If you have some ideas or information on how to help Haiti...leave a comment for all to read.

In case you are local and want to join in on the effort with me. Here is the list of things I will be collecting:

Medications/Medical Supplies:
Aspirin, Motrin, Benadryl, Neosporin/antibiotic cream, cough medication, ace bandages, gauze, latex gloves, thermometers, alcohol, scissors, Band-Aids and multi-vitamins.

Other items:
Small stuffed animals for children, cardboard boxes, sheets and blankets, children’s t-shirts and shorts, undergarments, socks, shoes, diapers, baby bottles and formula.

Dare to Love?

A few days ago a young friend asked me - "What is your new year resolution?" I didn't take but a moment to answer. I had been thinking of it for a few weeks now. "To Love better" I said with a grin as if just the words exiting my mouth made them magically come true. NOT. Oh if it were only that easy!

You know that feeling that bubbles within when your toddler throws herself on the floor in a tantrum at the check out stand at Target, or when a Humvee cuts you off in traffic as if the road is his backyard, or your spouse steps over the basket of laundry that you strategically placed by his side of the bed, because he still believes in the "laundry fairy". I can assure you that feeling is not love.

However, a truth has taken root in my heart. A simple yet profound truth. And I wish for it to reflect in my life - in my thoughts, in my words and in my actions.

That truth - LOVE NEVER FAILS.

You see, love is compounding in nature. It does not sit back and not act. It does not withhold. It does not go forth without effect. Love does not end.

Its going to be a challenge but not impossible.

I hope to post a small love note everyday (pray for me). Please leave comments and suggestions and even better join with me.

Dare to love?